ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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