I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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