checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
That accounts for only three of the penises
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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