just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize