i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
