dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
