My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
