i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
