My sheets look like a crime scene.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize