so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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