There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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