Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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