I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I look better un-naked...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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