Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Every concussion has its silver lining
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
