What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
