I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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