No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
