Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
A+ Viking dick
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
