I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
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I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
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and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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