38 yer olds are good kisserssss
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
