Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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