He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
