I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
