When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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