Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
