remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
