i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.