We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I think your dad took our porno
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP