eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
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Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?