YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..