Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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