Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
