Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
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I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
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It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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