what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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