My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
