She's JV to your varsity
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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