Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Pooping to opera.
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