last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
