I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize