1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.