I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..