"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
