I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
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