Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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