Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
