I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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