I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
