I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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