Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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