Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
