i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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