Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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