I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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