dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
