bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
