Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
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i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
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Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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