i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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