so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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