so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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