Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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