i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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