Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
