We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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