I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
