8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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