she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
