You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
