if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
