My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
