I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
