hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
