that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
