my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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