how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
