Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
