Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
